You guys, Iâm getting ghosted and I hate it here.
When it comes to ghosting, I know a lot of traditional dating advice goes around saying âyou donât owe anybody anythingâ when the ghostee is looking for an explanation. And you know what? Iâm calling bullsh*t on this*. I personally believe that if you had a connection, went on a great date or two, and spent time and energy on someoneâthe very least you could do is come forth and just say âhey, I enjoyed our time together, butâŚ_____Iâm not feeling it/not in the right headspace to date/too busy and need to focus on other things, etc_____.â especially if the other interested party texted and is waiting on a response.
The thing we forget about dating is that a lot of adults are doing it. To be an adult nods at a certain level of maturity to do certain things without supervision and I would hope that basic human communication falls under that. But in reality, it seems like a lot of people are afraid to address their feelings when theyâre doing this adult thing called dating. Some say that itâs hard to reject someone because they feel uncomfortable addressing those feelings. But you know what? That other person is even more uncomfortable being left hanging having you live rent-free in their head. Theyâre probably a little anxious about it wondering all the what happends and what ifs? Leaving someone you once cared about without an explanation is cowardly and just not nice.
Dating implies youâre both becoming vulnerable with your feelings and emotions, and you should have enough respect for the other person to owe them a simple explanation for vanishing and feeling the way you do. So be a grown up about this, youâre not a child anymore. Youâll be braver and a better communicator for saying exactly how you feel.
*The only instance I do condone ghosting is in which you feel as though as your safety is in concern. Then you are allowed to ghost the shit out of that person because they deserve it!
Song of the week because topical and I love Ryan Gosling:
xoxo,
c