SO I crush easily when I go on a date with a great person. You go on so many shitty dates, a good crush crush doesnât come along that frequently. This is bound to happenâright?! This (imaginary) crush is diamond in the roughâcharming, witty, handsome, saying all the right thingsâŚwho could blame me?!
But thereâs a problem with crushing too early! Dating is hard, and nobody is reliable. With the choice paradox, availability for the next person only a swipe away, terrible communication, ghostingâthere are so man things that really bring us daters down. One really great date could lead to nothingânot even a second date! And this means that itâs easy to get your hopes up and quickly develop a crush when thereâs a rare phenomenal date. And if youâve crushed before, youâre down badâŚand sometimes that actually feels ::bad:: because you get anxious that this person is never going to reply to that last text! Youâre putting your all eggs in this basket waiting for that dopamine hit thinking âwe did it Joe!âŚfinally found this guy!â But in reality, 9/10 times you havenât found a trusty person to crush on because the truth is: people are unreliable until they show up. And for me, I want them to show up 3 times before I develop a new crush.
Hereâs how this ânew three date ruleâ is going to work: There must be three IRL dates until Iâm allowing myself to have feelings for this new guy (reader: this is a crush). This tells me a few things that I want in a personâthey want to go out (hello, quality time!) theyâre consistent (panty dropper!), and theyâre interested (interest is a two way street!).
DTF is now down to feel-ings nowâŚand thatâs not happening until Iâve invested some time.
xoxo,
c
Song of the week: (relatable, amrite?)
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