The other day I had a third date with someone I was starting to like! (Remember my third date rule?*) A third date is such a rare occurrence, so naturally I started becoming excited about this person. Yet this date had the most ridiculous ending: he told me that he called off his engagement and she still has the ring and âshe might think sheâs still engaged.â A questionably engaged man! There are seriously NO surprises anymore.
Anyhow, I told my friends and one of them badgered me that I need to change my filtering. So I let him see the conversation because, for me, there were no red flags. And what did he see? A completely normal (almost boring!) conversation until he said "well, a Friday night first date is red flag obviously.â After endless rounds of arguing back and forth, he just came back to thatâwhich for me, sounded like a cop-out. A Friday night date might be an indicator for being down to hookup, but try connecting that to the end result of someone being engaged? Not so clear.
So then we argued so more re: thoughts on Friday night first datesâŚ
Hereâs my stance: Friday first dates are a-ok, but weekend evenings should be reserved for your friends first and foremost. Your friends are the ones that you do fun things with â- theyâre your ride or dies! Plus, if youâre out having fun in your element, youâll have a better chance meeting someone while youâre being your best self. Maybe your friend even has a friend for you? Itâs important to remember that your friends are also always there for you when broken hearts and breakups happen, so prioritize those friendships first.
*For the most part
BUTâŚFriday night first dates could be a green light if you have no plans. Sure, go on that date. You have nothing better to do. If youâre new in a city, explore with a new human. Iâm extroverted and somewhat new to NY, so I find myself in this predicament quite often. And Iâm here to tell you itâs OK! Sometimes when thereâs a plan being made with a date, I even warn them I might cancel if something with friends come up. For the most part, dates are understanding because bros before hoes â obvi!
To make sure Iâm not crazy, I checked in with my bestie and trusty sex & relationship therapist friend
** concerning my point of view here.And there we have it â Friday night dates are fine. Do it if you want, weâre all just trying to find our person. If you donât believe in them, thatâs OK too. Just do what naturally feels right and donât judge your friends who partake. And by no means are Friday first dates the reddest of flags. Woof.
Happy Friday, yâall. (btw, I canât stand people who say that. And when I hear Happy Friday Junior? Even worse.)
*Third date rule: one may not crush until youâve been on at least three dates.
**Check out Gigiâs book, articles, substack, podcast, and twitter. Iâm a big fan and you should be too <3
Song of the week:
xoxo,
c
I would personally advocate for a Friday first date and if it goes well, extending an invitation to join you for your Saturday night plans!
Iâm 1000% biased since this is how my current relationship started in 2019. We met on Tinder, did a Friday afternoon coffee date and hung out for hours, and then I invited him to a very classic 4/20 college party.
The more time went on, the happier I was that I made that decision â heâs totally my person (and heâs definitely proposing tomorrow!!!!)
đđđđđđđ I love LOVE!!!