friday first dates

y/n?

The other day I had a third date with someone I was starting to like! (Remember my third date rule?*) A third date is such a rare occurrence, so naturally I started becoming excited about this person. Yet this date had the most ridiculous ending: he told me that he called off his engagement and she still has the ring and “she might think she’s still engaged.” A questionably engaged man! There are seriously NO surprises anymore.

Anyhow, I told my friends and one of them badgered me that I need to change my filtering. So I let him see the conversation because, for me, there were no red flags. And what did he see? A completely normal (almost boring!) conversation until he said "well, a Friday night first date is red flag obviously.” After endless rounds of arguing back and forth, he just came back to that–which for me, sounded like a cop-out. A Friday night date might be an indicator for being down to hookup, but try connecting that to the end result of someone being engaged? Not so clear.

So then we argued so more re: thoughts on Friday night first dates…

Here’s my stance: Friday first dates are a-ok, but weekend evenings should be reserved for your friends first and foremost. Your friends are the ones that you do fun things with –- they’re your ride or dies! Plus, if you’re out having fun in your element, you’ll have a better chance meeting someone while you’re being your best self. Maybe your friend even has a friend for you? It’s important to remember that your friends are also always there for you when broken hearts and breakups happen, so prioritize those friendships first.

*For the most part

BUT…Friday night first dates could be a green light if you have no plans. Sure, go on that date. You have nothing better to do. If you’re new in a city, explore with a new human. I’m extroverted and somewhat new to NY, so I find myself in this predicament quite often. And I’m here to tell you it’s OK! Sometimes when there’s a plan being made with a date, I even warn them I might cancel if something with friends come up. For the most part, dates are understanding because bros before hoes – obvi!

To make sure I’m not crazy, I checked in with my bestie and trusty sex & relationship therapist friend

Gigi Engle

** concerning my point of view here.

And there we have it – Friday night dates are fine. Do it if you want, we’re all just trying to find our person. If you don’t believe in them, that’s OK too. Just do what naturally feels right and don’t judge your friends who partake. And by no means are Friday first dates the reddest of flags. Woof.

Happy Friday, y’all. (btw, I can’t stand people who say that. And when I hear Happy Friday Junior? Even worse.)

*Third date rule: one may not crush until you’ve been on at least three dates.
**Check out Gigi’s book, articles, substack, podcast, and twitter. I’m a big fan and you should be too <3

Song of the week:

xoxo,

c